literature

Sitting on Clouds

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She never saw things the way you or I do; to her, the world was magic. I learned that in freshman year; it was the first time ever I talked to her. She never looked like she was paying attention, always looking like her body was the only thing there, but she could repeat anything you said, and then remind you that she knew it because she was practicing for the day when she was sitting on the clouds and watching over us all. When she wasn’t staring into space or talking about clouds, she was drawing something or other.  That was the only time anyone could figure out what was going on in her head; those pictures became portals to other worlds as she drew them.  When you looked at them, you could see how a bike ride through her neighborhood became a horseback ride through a mystical forest and how a normal hour of English class became a quest of magic spells and old tattered documents, but the most amazing thing was that you could see how she sat on the clouds and watched over us all in her dreams.
~*~
It was two weeks before we could all kiss senior year goodbye when I confronted her about flying. “You can fly with me in my jet pretty soon; I’m learning how to fly this summer,” I told her enthusiastically. “I promise that you can come with me when I’m allowed to let people fly with me. You can be the first one!” It was then that she looked at me, laughing quietly to herself, and said, “Thank you for the offer, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.” She laughed again as she watched my puzzlement grow more and more obvious. “If I let you take me through the clouds, I’d have to return the favor when I get my wings. Sorry if this sounds mean, but I don’t think I could carry you,” she said shamefully. I never understood how she was always so nice. If you offered her anything, she would only accept it if she felt that she could repay you. Then again, I was almost glad that she didn’t want to come with me. If she had said yes, my buddies would have spread the rumor that I was going to ask her out. Then, she would have confronted me about it… who knows how much trouble that would have got me into. It’s surprising how much seniors could act like freshmen.
~*~
It happened the week before graduation ceremonies: she was riding her bike back home from the grocery store and there was an accident. It wasn’t her fault, she was in the bicycle lane where she was supposed to be, but the person in the cute little Jaguar had no clue that she was there, they were drunk and it was dark as they sped down the road at somewhere around 100 mph in a 45mph zone. She was lucky that she noticed them enough to mainly avoid the inevitable collision. The Jaguar didn’t stop after they hit the back wheel of her bike and sent her slamming into the side of their car or when she was being dragged along behind them when the scraps of her bike caught on the car somewhere and wouldn’t let go of her foot. The only reason we knew who did it is because she used a sharp piece of broken off metal to engrave the license plate number in her arm as she was being dragged along. She was also very lucky when the bike let her go in front of a house where ambulance drivers wait for their next call.

I was the first to get to the hospital that night. Apparently, she had given them her cell phone in the ambulance and to them to call me up. I guess that she trusted me the most out of all of her friends, seeing as how her parents were dead and she had no other relatives. She was in the ICU. The doctors told me that her body was beaten up, nothing serious that they could see, but she needed a CAT scan as soon as possible. Of course, there were so many other people in need of a CAT scan that night that actually were going to be able to pay for it that she probably wouldn’t be able to get one until 5 AM the next morning. At least they let me go in and talk to her.

With how beaten and bloody she was, I was surprised when she smiled and waved at me. Who could smile when they’re this beaten up, I wondered to myself as I went and sat next to her.  We sat around and talked for an hour before anyone else showed up after receiving the word of her being hospitalized. During this time, she explained to me exactly what had happened. She also asked me if I could get her the cell phone that the doctors had taken from her so she could call someone up to go get the groceries that she had dropped before getting slammed into. The nurse in the room at the time almost was hysterical and had to leave the room. It was around midnight when everyone else arrived with their balloons and get well soon cards. It had been two hours since she had come here, and she still hadn’t gotten a CAT scan. By now, she had reenacted the events that had placed her in her current condition. I could sense that something wasn’t the same with her; she had grown more and more quiet. Now, I couldn’t rest easy until I knew what was wrong. She claimed that she was just tired and a little sore, but I didn’t believe her. I ended up looking for the doctors in charge of CAT scans every five minutes. The doctors had found a way to make themselves scarce. I never could search for them though, I was always pulled back in and had to listen to her repeat herself in saying that she was fine. Eventually, she told everyone not to worry, to go home, and to get some sleep so they could come and see her tomorrow. We were alone in the room when she confirmed my fear that something might be wrong. She told me that she had started to get a headache when everyone had arrived and it had been growing worse and worse. At that point I grabbed the hospital-bed-remote-thingy and pushed the call nurse button. It took five minutes but someone came to see what was wrong. I took the nurse to the side and quietly told her that I thought that my friend’s brain was bleeding internally. The nurse called the CAT scan doctors and arranged for an immediate scan. It only took a minute for the doctors to get there and wheel her out of the room. I was then told to go wait in the waiting room like everyone else.

The door opened and I heard a doctor call my name. My head immediately snapped up and he waved me out of the room. He told me that I was correct in my analysis of the problem, but it may already be too late. He said that they had sedated her and drilled a hole in her skull to relieve the pressure, but he wasn’t sure if it would do any good. The risk of drilling was almost as great of a risk as not drilling. If the blood didn’t clot soon, she would die of blood loss. The doctor then mentioned that they tried to do the most humane thing; relieving the pressure would be the least painful thing anymore. He showed me to her room where she was starting to wake up. The doctor told me that he was sorry and left us alone.

I asked her if she was feeling any better and she replied that her headache was finally gone and that it felt weird to have a numb head. I stifled my laughter as we continued our conversation. We talked for a half hour, but further conversation seemed pointless after I noticed that she had started looking more and more distant. I sat there and watched as she started to fade away. I tried to convince her that she’d be okay and that she’d see everyone again tomorrow and just to hang on for a while longer. Every time, she shook her head ‘no’ and told me to tell everyone that she didn’t suffer, that she died knowing that everyone cared for her. I tried and tried to reassure her, but she wouldn’t listen anymore. It went on like this for what seemed like forever, she kept telling me things to tell her friends and I kept telling her that she could tell them herself.

“Don’t worry about me,” she whispered, “I’ll be here. I’ll watch you all when I’m sitting on top of the clouds. Don’t be sad, this is the one thing I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve been listening to this voice in my head; it’s telling me that if I let go now, then I can get my wings. I’ve always wanted to fly, please, let me go and fly. I promise that I’ll watch over you. I’ll come and fly with you, okay? I’ll meet you in the skies, okay? Don’t be sad, okay? Please? For me, don’t cry. If you start crying, I’ll start crying too. Please, don’t be sad. Go and get your flying license so you can come and fly with me. I’ll be waiting for you…” She closed her eyes as she finished her statement. She closed her eyes, never to open them again.
~*~
It’s been quite a while since then. I still remember locking myself away from the world for months at a time. While I was in hiding, I spent every day writing letters to our friends to tell them her last words to them. When I finally started to write the letter to myself, I recalled that she told me that she’d be waiting for me to fly with her. At that moment I got up and left to continue flight training with my old teacher. A few weeks later, I was ready to get off the ground and into the skies. That day, I got into my plane and felt the strangest sensation, like someone was sitting in the half-seat behind me, but no one was there when I looked. As I was flying through the clouds, I thought I heard her voice saying, “So, you finally remembered!” I looked behind me and saw her smiling face sitting there. “Let me show you something, okay? I know you’ll be amazed!” Next thing I know, she jumped up through the air tight seal, spread her beautiful, white, feathery wings and flew right next to me! I was even more amazed as I watched her grow into what she would have been if she never had died. It was then that I cried the tears that I had held back from the moment I saw her leave me. She smiled at me and shook her head ‘no’ like she did that night. I then heard her say, “I promise that I will always fly right by your side, it’s the least I can do for your suffering. I should have sent you away with the others so you didn’t have to be there and have to watch me go like that. I promise that I’ll be there when you join me up here forever. The only thing I can’t promise you is that I will follow you everywhere. I promised everyone that I’d watch over them when I could sit on the clouds. I’m sorry, but I must stay up here. Please, come visit me often!”

I realized that I had arrived to my destination and had to leave her. Nevertheless, she stays with me whenever I’m in the air. I’m lucky enough to have a job where I constantly deliver things from place to place in the military. Recently, I’ve been flying overseas due to the war. I know it’s not right, but I don’t ever want the war to end. This is the only excuse I have to see her anymore. At least I’ll be able to stay with her for forever when I join her permanently in the sky. I’m not in a hurry, though. I wouldn’t stop living my dream that soon. Flying is all I ever wanted to do, but now it’s the only thing that keeps me here. I don’t know why, but I like it this way.
one of my friends was bugging me about writing something
i told her that i would upload my best story so far
if this gets some good comments, i might write some others

please tell me what you think^^
© 2009 - 2024 Celestryx
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TheRealCrispy's avatar
Holy ****, great stuff M, great stuff I should've read this sooner, I've probably said I'd read it before, but you know I tend to be a bit of a flake, if you don't read this before I tell you oh well, I suppose. Well it's a great 1st person that actually develops characters in a short time with few time lapses and it works. I can't critique this harshly or anything, but the only thing I could recommend you work on is developing your style, I've seen what you do with a pencil and paper and your art is fantastic, but with your writing here I see so much potential and it is something to take pride in... So yeah...